My husband, a giant reptile and a “mad” man

Well, as I type this last musing before taking the summer months off, I can’t help but reflect - it’s been a funny old start to the week here in Malaysia.

Namely, yesterday.

It was one of those days. You know when one thing knocks into the next. You have so many “normal days” and then... out the blue... one of “those” days. You know, like a giant-reptile mad-man kind of day.

Very excitingly it started with the snake catchers arriving. Not for a snake I might add, but a massive monitor lizard. She usually hangs out in the jungle by our condo building (there’ve been a few sightings), but in the last few days she’s been roaming the drive, apparently maybe looking for somewhere nice to lay her eggs. Well, the snake catchers in all their armory didn’t find her, so the excitement continues.

Our very peaceful walk back up the long windy drive to the building, after dropping the kids at the bus stop in the morning, happens to be the route this big lady lizard’s been roaming. It’s so hot in Malaysia that our kids start school very early, so this 7am walk back alone is a little bit of heaven for Dan or I after one of us has dropped the kids as the air is cool(er), the just-waking jungle sounds magical, and the peace is incredible. Monitor lizards are shy and not known for attacking humans. But - they’re carnivorous, fast, have big teeth, huge claws and are large heavy creatures that grow up to ten feet long. So, it’s been a conundrum: do we give this lovely walk up? Could this monitor lizard attack one of us? (Actually, it’s only been me asking these questions, Dan is hoping to spot her, given she hasn’t eaten anyone yet).

Hmm.

So, this big-teeth carnivorous conundrum flowed into the second drama of yesterday.

Late afternoon, Dan was heading back down to pick up our son, and I was noticing my inner fear monologue "What if he walks past the monitor lizard and it attacks him?”

But, instead, Dan walked past a man who attacked him. (Dan’s ok, just a few scratches).

We've seen zero aggression in Malaysia, we never even hear of violence, and where we live is an incredibly peaceful place. This man is actually our neighbour who we've never met (and barely ever see) and the reason for him attacking Dan was because of the noise when our children walk/run past his apartment (I promise they are not that noisy!).

So, Dan spent last night at the police station until late and this is what transpired. The man who attacked him is about 40 years old and has some mental health problems. He lives with his parents.

His father explained to the police and Dan that his son had been feeling increasing stress because of drilling on our shared floor yesterday, that continued beyond the permitted time for building work. Hearing our children was the last straw and later, when he saw Dan walk past, he lost it. Unfortunately for him it was all caught on CCTV and the police were not impressed. Fortunately for him, Dan isn’t pressing charges.

Both these “excitements” of course lead to some digesting and analysis (and more inner monologues for me!).

Mostly, I’ve been thinking a lot about the neighbour. What life is like for him cooped up with his parents. And what life is like for his parents, cooped up with him. What his condition might be. And how, although he displayed less control than maybe you or I might, he was perhaps just exhibiting how so many of us feel sometimes. Tormented by the mental noise of our heads. Pushed to the limit by the overstimulation of our environment. Driven to distraction by our thoughts. How many people are so often at breaking point. Really, are we so different to him? Eckhart Tolle explains something similar in The Power of Now:

“You have probably come across 'mad' people in the street incessantly talking to themselves. Well, that's not much different from what you and all other 'normal' people do, except that you don't do it out loud.”

It’s a reminder that when our heads start drilling us non-stop, it’s time to seek relief.

And as for this big lady lizard, she's done nothing threatening whatsoever. She hasn’t attacked anyone. She’s just plodding along, looking for a nice nest to hatch her babies. She has no idea that the humans are scared of her. And she probably won't do anything to hurt anyone. She lives directly and instinctively and, I assume, without complex thought patterns. It'll only be if she feels threatened, she may attack (we too have what psychologists refer to as our ‘lizard brain’, the ancient part of our brain responsible for ‘fight or flight’ survival – luckily Dan’s kicked in yesterday and he stood his ground assertively but without aggression while leading the way the security guards).

For me to have been worried about Dan getting attacked by a lizard on his way to pick up our son, only for him to then get attacked by a man, suggests that it’s the human mind that needs taming and the thoughts that need catching – not the lizard.

Here she is on the drive, walking our walk. Watch the video 👇

Thank you so much for reading! It’s been wonderful writing for you, and I look forward to sending more musings after the summer break 😊

Happy Tuesday 🙂

Love,
Jo x